How Do you Do it? Need Advice

**Katy** · 01-01-2008, 12:52 AM

We've recently had to ban 4 very active members - two of which are former mods. They've had a beef with the mod and admin team for a while now and have just pushed things too far. We'd let them go for too long on our boards, following other members around, starting baiting threads, and just well, being bitchy and mean. But the final straw was when they went off our site (on LiveJournal) and started taking public, personal shots at me. I immediately banned them.

I haven't cited any specific, rule violations just that they've violated both our TOS and our rules. They're doing their best to create a lynch mob mentality and are doing anything they can to get at us - including using an (in my opinion) unstable woman that's says she's scared that her ex-husband will find her and kill her (yet shares her life online in a public forum, despite our many attempts to get her to use caution - don't get me started) as an example of what how we don't care about our membership (this is unspeakably and unforgivably horrific if you ask me).

We refuse to stoop down to their level and sling mud. We refuse to be specific about any of the conflict going on or any of the threats that have been made against me (or the site itself - wish I had the screencap of that one, but I don't). We've said what we're comfortable saying, but they're not letting it go and it's getting uglier still.

The sad thing, they're doing what they can to destroy the site (and Happy New Year to you too!), but without it, many of them would miss it. And sadly, the majority of our members are in the dark and have no idea what's going on and don't care to know. In the same respect, some of those that don't know what's going on are scared of what seems to be happening due to all the commotion and can't understand why we won't explain anything further.

Please, I need any insight into how any of you may have dealt with something like this in the past. Or how you would deal with it if something similar were to happen to your site.

**Sir TVDinner** · 01-01-2008, 01:04 AM

after banning them, which you have done, can you just ignore them. Literally just pretend they do not exist and just move on. You have 1.6 million posts and I would bet 99.99% of them have nothing to do with the drama you mention above. while I fully understand that it is stressful to you personally, ........ can you just ignore it?

**Rizzo** · 01-01-2008, 01:43 AM

I have had something very similar, and ended up with a total of 15 members banned. It was very sad, and i almost shut the forum down. However, once they were gone, spirits picked up, and a 'new' bunch of people became the regulars. Now i've got a fantastic site, with awesome people! Stay positive, and just get on with it

Happy New Year to you *hug*

**Katy** · 01-01-2008, 04:10 AM

Thanks for the support Sir! I keep telling myself to focus on the fact that most people don't even know or care what's going on, but many, many people have just gone too far. Its so bad right now that I can't even bring myself to read what they're saying.

Rizzo - how did you handle the bannings? Did you let your membership in on any of the dialog or reasonings? What's getting to me (aside from the pure hate that some are spewing and the total disrespect) are the demands to know what's going on.

**Sir TVDinner** · 01-01-2008, 04:28 AM

Katy
I just joined your site but can not post, or add my avatar or signature.
My user name is TVDinner. What should I do?

Thanks

**Katy** · 01-01-2008, 06:12 AM

Sorry SirTv, I just now got home from dinner responded to your PM. You're all set to go.

**Sir TVDinner** · 01-01-2008, 01:56 PM

Thanks - checking now. Happy New Year!

**Flashgear** · 01-01-2008, 04:00 PM

IP ban them? gtfo please

**Cori** · 01-01-2008, 05:13 PM

Wow, sorry to hear about all of this. We have had similar problems in the past. We don't leave stuff like this open for discussion, we tell them just what they need to know, not everything, but just enough to keep their minds from wandering lol

Have you and your team thought about changing the atmosphere with maybe a post the most contest or something similar? Maybe bumping old threads or starting new topics will change the pace around there. I know it's hard and the overall feeling around there must be gloomy, but "this to shall pass" it always does.

I would ban the IP's of the troublemakers so they can't come back and just move on. If the staff keeps dwelling then so will the members. Good luck to you and I hope things get better for you and your staff soon!

**Rizzo** · 01-01-2008, 07:43 PM

We're the same as Cori, tell them just what they need to know. They don't need full details.

01-01-2008, 12:52 AM	#1
Katy Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: SoCal Posts: 85	How Do you Do it? Need Advice We've recently had to ban 4 very active members - two of which are former mods. They've had a beef with the mod and admin team for a while now and have just pushed things too far. We'd let them go for too long on our boards, following other members around, starting baiting threads, and just well, being bitchy and mean. But the final straw was when they went off our site (on LiveJournal) and started taking public, personal shots at me. I immediately banned them. I haven't cited any specific, rule violations just that they've violated both our TOS and our rules. They're doing their best to create a lynch mob mentality and are doing anything they can to get at us - including using an (in my opinion) unstable woman that's says she's scared that her ex-husband will find her and kill her (yet shares her life online in a public forum, despite our many attempts to get her to use caution - don't get me started) as an example of what how we don't care about our membership (this is unspeakably and unforgivably horrific if you ask me). We refuse to stoop down to their level and sling mud. We refuse to be specific about any of the conflict going on or any of the threats that have been made against me (or the site itself - wish I had the screencap of that one, but I don't). We've said what we're comfortable saying, but they're not letting it go and it's getting uglier still. The sad thing, they're doing what they can to destroy the site (and Happy New Year to you too!), but without it, many of them would miss it. And sadly, the majority of our members are in the dark and have no idea what's going on and don't care to know. In the same respect, some of those that don't know what's going on are scared of what seems to be happening due to all the commotion and can't understand why we won't explain anything further. Please, I need any insight into how any of you may have dealt with something like this in the past. Or how you would deal with it if something similar were to happen to your site.

01-01-2008, 01:04 AM	#2
Sir TVDinner Veteran Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: USA Posts: 960	after banning them, which you have done, can you just ignore them. Literally just pretend they do not exist and just move on. You have 1.6 million posts and I would bet 99.99% of them have nothing to do with the drama you mention above. while I fully understand that it is stressful to you personally, ........ can you just ignore it? __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Promote your forum for FREE. Directory for Forums. OVER 2000 forums currently on the Forum Directory. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

01-01-2008, 01:43 AM	#3
Rizzo Veteran Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: New Zealand Posts: 783	I have had something very similar, and ended up with a total of 15 members banned. It was very sad, and i almost shut the forum down. However, once they were gone, spirits picked up, and a 'new' bunch of people became the regulars. Now i've got a fantastic site, with awesome people! Stay positive, and just get on with it Happy New Year to you hug __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. - We're Virtually Family To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. - For The Modern Dad

01-01-2008, 04:28 AM	#5
Sir TVDinner Veteran Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: USA Posts: 960	Katy I just joined your site but can not post, or add my avatar or signature. My user name is TVDinner. What should I do? Thanks __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Promote your forum for FREE. Directory for Forums. OVER 2000 forums currently on the Forum Directory. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

01-01-2008, 01:56 PM	#7
Sir TVDinner Veteran Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: USA Posts: 960	Thanks - checking now. Happy New Year! __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Promote your forum for FREE. Directory for Forums. OVER 2000 forums currently on the Forum Directory. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

01-01-2008, 04:10 AM	#4
Katy Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: SoCal Posts: 85	Thanks for the support Sir! I keep telling myself to focus on the fact that most people don't even know or care what's going on, but many, many people have just gone too far. Its so bad right now that I can't even bring myself to read what they're saying. Rizzo - how did you handle the bannings? Did you let your membership in on any of the dialog or reasonings? What's getting to me (aside from the pure hate that some are spewing and the total disrespect) are the demands to know what's going on.

01-01-2008, 06:12 AM	#6
Katy Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: SoCal Posts: 85	Sorry SirTv, I just now got home from dinner responded to your PM. You're all set to go.

01-01-2008, 04:00 PM	#8
Flashgear Super Moderator Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 1,390	IP ban them? gtfo please

01-01-2008, 05:13 PM	#9
Cori Forum Addict Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Florida Posts: 1,551	Wow, sorry to hear about all of this. We have had similar problems in the past. We don't leave stuff like this open for discussion, we tell them just what they need to know, not everything, but just enough to keep their minds from wandering lol Have you and your team thought about changing the atmosphere with maybe a post the most contest or something similar? Maybe bumping old threads or starting new topics will change the pace around there. I know it's hard and the overall feeling around there must be gloomy, but "this to shall pass" it always does. I would ban the IP's of the troublemakers so they can't come back and just move on. If the staff keeps dwelling then so will the members. Good luck to you and I hope things get better for you and your staff soon! __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

01-01-2008, 07:43 PM	#10
Rizzo Veteran Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: New Zealand Posts: 783	We're the same as Cori, tell them just what they need to know. They don't need full details. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. - We're Virtually Family To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. - For The Modern Dad

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