Ok so here is a long story short I need advice:
Mod team member starts dating tech guy

I piss off tech guy by telling him he lied to me about when they met (I didnt care its the fact that he lied I was having trust issues)

A lot of drama happens (off board)

He quits de admins himself we are done

Next day he starts deleting things from the forum (I forgot he had passwords to everything else , ftp etc)

I change passwords and fix everything

Mod he is dating quits

I get an IM that he is going to punish me and start a forum and steal my members blah blah blah Destroy my site etc etc

Their site goes up (his and the mod that quit)

Bam! 4 of the 7 mods of mine are modding there

I have this written when they sign up as mods that due to the time involved we want mods to only mod on this forum and if they want to mod somewhere else to let us know and they are free to step down

So I have no proof that the ex mod or anyone is recruiting through PMs or anything but what the heck do I do?

__________________
Come help be liven this board Please!
How Much Blood would you shed?
WTH? Yeah WTH do you have to say? Come say what is on your mind!

From my experience, I find it helpful to make it clear from the outset what you won't put up with. None of this is any behavior I expect from people I have selected to lead forum groups. Those that choose to be not only a member but moderator of a 'spin off' site spawned purely to take your members ( I mean let's be serious, you don't need a PhD to figure that out) can lose their positions at your board and enjoy their new positions at his board. Eventually he will run out of anger, and he'll be faced with the joy (read: expense and hard work) of forum ownership and administration. His site will crash and burn, and yours will flourish because you've cut the dead weight and moved on.

DeMod them, spread the tasks among those you know you can trust and keep your eyes and ears open to committed and involved members to promote to moderator status as needed. You may find that life is a lot easier with fewer staff to manage.

Thank you. I dont think they know what is going on which is my fault I should have told them right away what went down with me and these two. I feel bad just cutting them loose these are long standing members and I feel they are being lied to on that end.

Should I give them the benefit of the doubt and let them know what went down what he said and see where they stand?

__________________
Come help be liven this board Please!
How Much Blood would you shed?
WTH? Yeah WTH do you have to say? Come say what is on your mind!

How can they not know? These two were on your board, on staff. Then suddenly they were not, and started up their own site, exactly like yours, and your mods decided to become mods over there, too?

People are going to believe what they want to believe. I think if they cared, they'd have asked what was up. I would want to be free of ALL that drama so I could move on. It will serve up nothing but a headache in the end. There is NO.WAY. I would keep staff on who were STAFF on a board that started by two angry ex members.