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Old 05-01-2008, 10:11 PM   #1

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What do you think of my sites introduction statement

Quote:
Our goal, is to bring you a fully interactive and fun experience in this site. To this effect, we have compiled a "superb" collection of articles that you are going to find interesting.
i think that is a pretty good one
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Old 05-02-2008, 01:12 AM   #2

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Remove the comma after "Our goal" since it is not needed. Also I personally wouldn't put superb in quotes but that's up to you.
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Old 05-02-2008, 01:18 AM   #3

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Quote:
We bring you a fully interactive and fun experience in this site. To this effect, we have compiled a superb collection of articles that you are going to find interesting.
this is what it was changed to
sound better?
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Old 05-02-2008, 02:29 AM   #4

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Quote:
Originally Posted by jazzking2001 View Post
this is what it was changed to
sound better?
Which site is that mission statement for?

Without the quotes, it does look better, but give us the link to the site so we can see if your mission statement corresponds to what your site provide.

Remember, never go too far then what you actually got.
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Old 05-02-2008, 02:33 AM   #5

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true
well i changed it to a introduction to the site
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